You Know You Want To Know

I have had a Tumblr for the longest time, but no one seems to know except for like 3 people who found me and has followed me and I feel like abandoning Onsugar because I cant blog with Onsugar in school. And also, Tumblr is supported by more programs. So.. yeah. You can try to find my Tumblr if you want. It's not very difficult. Really. I sound really raw on my Tumblr though, so be warned. Goodnight.

You know, I really dislike bitchy boys/guys/men that talk too much. It is really really annoying. You're not funny. No one's laughing at your "witty" statements. They aren't witty at all. Maybe you just want to seem interesting. But I think quieter guys are more interesting. It's more mysterious. You speak like a 13 year old girl. You're mouth is just so.. ugh. When you're speaking, I secretly wish I can take off my shoe and stuff it inside your mouth. You should quit being a bitch and focus on getting jeans that actually fit you. :)

This is one of my favourite PJs. I took this picture right before going to bed. I'm sorry for the face.

And as for the SONG, Mama this is for you. This is her favourite song of all time, but then again she has a lot of favourite songs of all time. I just thought I should put it here because it's a timeless song. Everyone's heard of it, come on. "Ain't nobody loves me better, makes me happy, makes me feel this way."  Heehee.

Anyway, what's more important is that those are my new glasses. I hope I will wear my glasses out more often. I ned a break from contacts. Do you like them? Or do you hate them, just cos I'm in the picture? Leave a comment. :D

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

Why aren't Malay movies this entertaining anymore? 40 years ago, they had to manually piece reels together to make films and yet everything was so great. Too bad the scriptwriters, actors, film makers had to die. I know I'm not Malay-ish and all, but I'd like to bring all of it back. Yeah, I should.

I remember my grandfather used to watch these movies everynight. He probably memorised every line of every movie made in the 50s and 60s. No, my grandfather hasn't passed away. But I miss him. Because... never mind. ):

I miss you Habib..

And the #1 reason why I love Hasif is..

"One minute you're cute and clumsy, then you can be frustrating and stupid. And then sometimes you are so much fun to be with. Then you can suddenly transform into the hottest sex goddess known to mankind who knows all the right moves.What are you??"

Heh, well..

Yeah.

I'm staying alive.

You'll have to kill me with your bare hands if you want me gone.

...which I'm sure you DON'T have the guts.

coward.

I am spending my Saturday trying to find this movie online. I haven't found it but I will. It's the kind of movie that I will spend hours looking for but it will all be worth it.

10 Steps to Becoming a Better Writer

by Brian Clark

1. Write.
2. Write more.
3. Write even more.
4. Write even more than that.
5. Write when you don’t want to.
6. Write when you do.
7. Write when you even when you have something to say.
8. Write when you don’t have nothing to say.
9. Write every day.
10. Keep writing.

I came across this today and it seems that I have fulfilled all 10 steps, especially number 8. I would now like to share with you some quotes.

"Writers become writers because they are comfortable alone. Out of that silence emerges a kind of music that doesn't need screaming fans."

"Tell yours readers a story. Without a story, you are merely using words to prove that you can string them together in logical sentences."

"You know you've read a good book when you feel as though you've lost a friend after you finish reading the last page."

And of course, everyone's heard of this one...

"The pen is mightier than the sword."

Today is the best day of my week. And I am so excited for what's to come. I know I will not be disappointed.  It's been a reaaaally long time since I have been excited about something. And it coming from you, makes everything better. No amount of drugs or alcohol or tobacco can duplicate this feeling. So don't fool yourselves. Get high on life.

In my previous entry, I forgot to add something else that happened at the Grammy's. The iPad made it's first public appearance, outside of an Apple Launch Event. Stephen Colbert was going to reach into his jacket for the envelope which contained the nominees for Song Of The Year. Instead, he whipped out an iPad. I think this is great product placement on Apple's part. By the way Beyonce won that award for Single Ladies. There's been some speculation about it being a prototype but in the end everyone agreed, it's the real deal. It's just a giant iPhone to me. Video below.

I am not an alcoholic. I just like this song. I like listening to auto-tune nonsense vulgar songs like this when I study. It helps.

I just finished watching the Grammy's. You know there's something wrong with the world when Taylor Swift beats the likes of Lady Gaga and Beyonce for album of the year. Something's really wrong.

Yes, I like Lady Gaga a lot. I adore her. But honestly, I can never understand what she wears.

If you have forgotten, here's what she wore to the VMAs a few months back.

......

And this (picture below) is what she wore last night.

Can you imagine the people sitting behind her? She's practically blocking the view of 10 rows of people.

Yes, we know you have an obsession for lightning bolts, but really, is it necessary to make cut outs of them and haphazardly pile them on top of your head?

I feel bored even though I have a ton of things to do. I feel bored even though I just came home from an evening out. I feel like watching TV. No one seems to watch TV anymore but I still do. I like watching TV. I don't feel like doing cue cards for Media Buying presentation now even though tomorrow I will have to rehearse with my group. Can I just watch TV and then go to bed and quit school and get married and win the lottery and have a nice life?

Yes, of course I can. Everyone can, but we don't, and you know why? Because we are scared. We are fxcking losers. Think about it. All those rich-arsed people dropped out from school and pursued their dreams and proceeded to becoming rich-arsed. Bill Gates, Walt Disney and Ray Croc (founder of McDonalds) are just a few of them.

Why must we let fear take control of our lives? Chances are there not to decorate our walls. They are there for us to take, hence the term "taking chances". I can safely say chances are one of the things in life you can just take, without having to give back.

Screw it lah I'm going to just watch the damn TV.

“Strength of character means the ability to overcome resentment against others, to hide hurt feelings, and to forgive quickly.”

No, I am not going to talk about you. I have a lot of reasons too, but I don't know why.. I just pity you.

So go ahead. Keep talking shit. One more word and my boyfriend and I will have a word with you. Maybe then you can find out if he knows everything.

Go ahead.

Girls are just so tiring. They drain the energy out of me. They are so devious and not to mention slutty. You don't have to wear slut clothes to be slutty. You can still be a slut even if you cover your body from head to toe. I am a strong believer of modesty coming from within. There's no point of wearing a scarf if you are still a flamboyant, gossiping, arrogant, rude woman. There are so many makciks out there who are like this. Not to mentions MALAYSIANS. Why do they all wear scarves even when they are promiscuous and all that? Are they forced to by their parents or something? In that case, I have no comments. Okay actually I do. I have a comment for everything. I think parents should let their daughters know that they should commit to being modest on the outside only when they have achieved being modest on the inside. Otherwise, you are just being a hypocrite, which would only defeat the ENTIRE purpose of being modest.

Anyway, I am not here to talk about head scarves. I just want to say that girls are just... ugh. I should know. I am one.

I wonder why I never had any males in my circle of friends. The only male friends I had never seemed to treat me platonically, And I guess I am guilty of that too. Right now, I don't think I have any male friends at all. Wow this is sad. Maybe it's because they think I'm too prissy. Hmm.. No, I think maybe it's because I am not easy-going, like how most "fun" girls are. I am very odd and complex. The guys will just like get tired of my shit and not want to be friends with me any more. They have no time to waste on weird girls. They'd rather be with those loud-mouthed girls with nice legs who can stay out till 5AM and their parents won't care.

Wait a minute... I DO have a male friend. Uh huh. In fact, my best friend is a guy. And we also happen to be in love, not like you don't already know. Goodnight! :D

There are the few things in life that will make me cry every single time it happens:

- when I see an injured or starving animal

- when I hear about animals being hurt by humans

- when I love someone very much, sometimes too much

- when I am humiliated (not the same as feeling embarrassed)

- when I lose hope

- when I think of Papie

- when I think of what will happen when Mama/Hasif/All my cats die

- when someone believes in me with all their heart no matter how many times I fail them

- when I listen to Happiness By The Kilowatt

I need a break. I can't wait for this week to be over, even though it won't be the end of it. I still have next week and exams starting on the 22nd Feb until 26th Feb. 4 days only. Fun right? As for now though everything's piling up on me. Tomorrow I have a Finance test and in the afternoon I am shooting a music video with Stephanie and Dionne.

Next week we will have.. err. Oh shit what do we have next week. Okay I forgot. I am going to die. Err, oh yea. Oh my god. We have Media Buying presentation and I am supposed to sell Channel News Asia to Mr Azhar and that Hamzah guy who was my mom's friend in NUS. Which reminds me; I need to get new corporate wear such as a blazer that does not look like I am still griefing Michael Jackson. Today I went out of the house looking like a female MJ impersonator which my blazer that has the pointy shoulder pads. At the bus stop, too many people were staring and I couldn't take it so I went up to change to something more appropriate for a formal presentation. Oh and Shar and I will be interviewing Gimz next Friday. So help us God.

This Friday, we (the entire class) won't have the 8AM tutorial, but we have to come to school at noon to submit our report for Broadcast and insight paper for PSM to Soo. And then at 2PM, it's Comtech and I guess we'll be doing more Adobe Dreamweaver shit since we're done with Photoshop and InDesign. And at 4PM, I will run out of B503 or whatever room we'd be in, out of Block B, down the atrium, out of the school to the smoking alley/bus stop, and on Bus 72 to meet Meow Meow. Hee. :o)

I just came home. I am tired. I want to sleep, but I have to study. I have a test tomorrow for People & Supervisory Management. The test is on Chapters 11 & 12 which is Providing Effective Leadership. Help D:

In other news (I really like using this line, this is what school has done to me), Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie have split. Yes, and apparently, Brad Pitt is reconciling with Jennifer Aniston. The two divorced in 2005 when Angie stole Brad away from Jen. What a bitch. So Brad Pitt finally realised what a bitch she is and has decided to divorce with her. Finally.

I wonder what's going to happen with their 6 children. People should not conceive/adopt when they're relationship isn't even a stable one in the first place. People think that by having children, it'll bring the couple closer together. Newsflash; it won't. I am not old and wisened but I think it's common sense to know that you need to be secure and happy to have raise children. If 2 people can't be together, what makes you think 6 kids, from Cambodia, Vietnam, Ethiopia, Namibia and other obscure third-world countries with absolutely no proper sanitation and clean water, will make them a happier couple? Celebrities are really stupid.

I am sorry.

But you have no idea how much it hurts.

Girls, find a sweet guy that makes you smile, listens to you, makes you laugh and loves you more than you love him. There are a few left out there, go grab him. Any guy who hurts you, makes you cry more than he makes you smile and is a total dick who points out your flaws and throws them in your face is not worthy of you.

As for me, I don't know what I am worthy of because I suck. I'm probably lucky that someone even loves me.

This picture is so right in so many ways.

They look like they were meant to be.

1) I hate the both of them equally.

2)  Probably the girl most guys wanna rape and the guy most girls wanna get raped by.

3) Both look like crackheads. I mean, just look at the picture again.

DO YOU GUYS REMEMBER WHO I WAS SO DETERMINED TO MARRY WHEN I WAS 11, 12, 13, 14, AND 15 YEARS OLD.

YES I'M SURE YOU DO.

This person's name and picture was on my calculator, my file, my notes, my msn nick name and display picture, my desktop background, all over my blog (you can check my archives) , and my everything.

The way I was obsessed with him was just unhealthy.

So I watched Hachiko today and yes, I did cry a lot, as I had expected.

I didn't think I would come to this point in my life so soon. My 18th birthday hasn't even passed and this is where I am and that was what I went through. What is the matter with me? Why do I either expect too much or underestimate things, resulting in everything just screwing up. Today I reached the ultimatum. I reached the point where I'm supposed to do a roundabout and pace back a few steps, or more. I almost lost it. In the most literal sense. I should stop saying can I die now, or can I faint please because... I got a taste of what I had always wished for, although I didn't really wish for them to actually happen. Even the holiest of entities can misinterpret me. I am that messed up.

Anyway, I love you Hasif. Very much. and I know you know and you know I know that you know. We both know so this line doesn't actualy make a difference. It's just to make things seem less depressing. And this has nothing to do with what I said in the previous paragraph. It's been a a while since I've mentioned him properly here. In case you're wondering, nope, nothing's changed. We're still as tight as ever. We're still in love.